This is where it gets really hard. I mean Everything You Go Threw. Your Kids go Threw It 5 Times As Hard!! So how do you keep them from getting hurt or confused when going through family court or custody arrangements. If anyone had this answer they would be a miracle worker all I can tell you is the stuff I have learned in 10 years. The first thing is the hardest one. Know matter how bad you hate your ex or get mad at your ex. Don't show it in front of your kids the pick up on it instantly. Remember your a parent and their a parent of your child. No matter how bad they don't act like a parent the kids never see it that way. I mean how do you feel when someone talks about your dad or mom badly. It confuse the hell out of them. I not saying to sugar coat everything because that don't work either. I am saying tell them the truth don't lie and don't yell when telling them. I will give you a sample of what I talking about. Say my ex is suppose to be picking up our kid at 5:00 pm but don't show. Around 7:30 pm she calls and says she has got caught up with her friends and won't pick her up until tomorrow. Don't start screaming at her because it don't do anything good for you. Think if she really wanted to see her kid she would have been there right!!! She is to busy with her other life to really care about responiblities. You know that yelling at her about it is not going to help. SHE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE OVER NIGHT OR BY HAVING YOU YELLING IT TO HER. So take a breath and write it down in your notebook time, date it, and get ready to tell your kid. When telling your kid the news that their mom is not picking them up tonight tell them the truth don't sugar coat it and don't be mean about it too. I would say "Sorry honey but there is nothing I can do about it. But your mom is not picking you up tonight because she is out with her friends." Don't use your kids as pawns againist your ex because all you are doing is hurting the kids. You think your hurting your ex but you are really hurting the kids the most. The last thing I am going to tell you is about sugar coating everything for your kids and why it is not the way to go. Trust me I wished I knew this one because it is crazy at my house right now trying to adjust from this. When your kids are growing up through this life of custody arrangements that they are going to have to go through. If you are lying to them or being nice about stuff saying your ex can't pick them up because they are working or very busy. When their actually out partying or hanging with friends in stead of doing their parenting duties. They going to grow up thinking that your ex isn't doing nothing wrong because you are telling them it. What happens when you are playing nice as I call it and you think your ex is going to do the same when he or she has the kids. What if you telling them your ex is trying his or her hardest and then your ex is lying to them saying nothing but bad stuff to them about you. You are telling them your ex is a good person but your ex is telling them your doing nothing right. Your basically telling them to believe what your ex say and all your ex is saying is your a bad person. It gets flipped around on you. So watch out for it. It is better for them to know the truth and make up their own mind on the subject.Click Here!